Which Side Of The Valentines Day Debate Do You Sit On?
On The Lighter Side…
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend regarding what she planned to do for her boyfriend to celebrate Valentines Day. “Nothing,” she said. “We don’t celebrate Valentines Day. Jim feels that Valentines Day should be everyday between us and there is no need for a commercial holiday for us to make it so.”
Admittedly, I thought to myself, “What a shame.” No doubt, Jim is correct. No one should require a formal holiday to show someone you love them. Love should be demonstrated everyday. But I never understood the debate around Valentines Day, because nowhere in the definition of that holiday does it express that that particular day holds a moratorium on love or that showing love any other day is forbidden because you participate in the holiday.
In my view, Valentines Day is just a momentary, intentional, intimate and thoughtful reminder to stop and celebrate the one or ones you love in addition to the expressions of love you should be doing all year through. Not a replacement, I always viewed it as an extra to every other caring gesture shared between lovers, friends, parents and kids, etc. How could a day dedicated to “love” ever be a bad thing, especially when looking around the world today at the desperate need for it.
The value in taking advantage of one more opportunity of meaningful expression towards someone you care for can not be expressed enough because you don’t have enough time in your life to ever do so “too much.” Life is quick and finite and before you know it, one of you might not be around to experience this beautiful exchange. I learned this at 35 years-old when I lost my husband to Cancer. To see others squander such a precious holiday simply because they dislike how it is casted, I consider this enormously foolish. And yet, it seems that human beings have a habit of such behavior, focusing on the petty when the truly significant is completely overlooked. We do this everyday. Most of what commands our attention is chock-full of this failing. And yet, given we lived the other way around, our lives would be enormously less encumbered.
I implore you to let my words sink in as Valentines Day is on the approach. Instead of seeing the holiday as a forced coupling of “obligatory action with commercialism cleverly called love,” why not use the day as a post-it note — a colorful, heart-shaped reminder to create a magical memory with the person or people who you love. Then follow through.
As no one is ever promised tomorrow and our world is about as on-fire as it can get, taking a purposeful respite in the arms of love hurts nobody. It’s a bubble worth climbing into for twenty-four hours at least, one that will help deliver sanity back into your world and maybe even the rest of it too.
Make the day fun. Make it memorable. Make it whatever you want it to be. Just don’t “not” make it at all simply because you chose to dig your heels into the bleak side of the debate historically and won’t dislodge yourself from it in order to save face. You’re not saving anything by doing that…more like, losing a lot and probably much more than you ever contemplated. Frankly, just like every other day, no one wants to feel overlooked on Valentines Day. And taking the temperature of our nation into account currently, Valentines day is the least exclusionary holiday around, as love is undoubtedly needed by all. So give it readily and let’s finally turn the page on this ridiculous debate for good.
Which Side Of The Valentines Day Debate Do You Sit On?
On The Lighter Side…
Recently, I had a conversation with a friend regarding what she planned to do for her boyfriend to celebrate Valentines Day. “Nothing,” she said. “We don’t celebrate Valentines Day. Jim feels that Valentines Day should be everyday between us and there is no need for a commercial holiday for us to make it so.”
Admittedly, I thought to myself, “What a shame.” No doubt, Jim is correct. No one should require a formal holiday to show someone you love them. Love should be demonstrated everyday. But I never understood the debate around Valentines Day, because nowhere in the definition of that holiday does it express that that particular day holds a moratorium on love or that showing love any other day is forbidden because you participate in the holiday.
In my view, Valentines Day is just a momentary, intentional, intimate and thoughtful reminder to stop and celebrate the one or ones you love in addition to the expressions of love you should be doing all year through. Not a replacement, I always viewed it as an extra to every other caring gesture shared between lovers, friends, parents and kids, etc. How could a day dedicated to “love” ever be a bad thing, especially when looking around the world today at the desperate need for it.
The value in taking advantage of one more opportunity of meaningful expression towards someone you care for can not be expressed enough because you don’t have enough time in your life to ever do so “too much.” Life is quick and finite and before you know it, one of you might not be around to experience this beautiful exchange. I learned this at 35 years-old when I lost my husband to Cancer. To see others squander such a precious holiday simply because they dislike how it is casted, I consider this enormously foolish. And yet, it seems that human beings have a habit of such behavior, focusing on the petty when the truly significant is completely overlooked. We do this everyday. Most of what commands our attention is chock-full of this failing. And yet, given we lived the other way around, our lives would be enormously less encumbered.
I implore you to let my words sink in as Valentines Day is on the approach. Instead of seeing the holiday as a forced coupling of “obligatory action with commercialism cleverly called love,” why not use the day as a post-it note — a colorful, heart-shaped reminder to create a magical memory with the person or people who you love. Then follow through.
As no one is ever promised tomorrow and our world is about as on-fire as it can get, taking a purposeful respite in the arms of love hurts nobody. It’s a bubble worth climbing into for twenty-four hours at least, one that will help deliver sanity back into your world and maybe even the rest of it too.
Make the day fun. Make it memorable. Make it whatever you want it to be. Just don’t “not” make it at all simply because you chose to dig your heels into the bleak side of the debate historically and won’t dislodge yourself from it in order to save face. You’re not saving anything by doing that…more like, losing a lot and probably much more than you ever contemplated. Frankly, just like every other day, no one wants to feel overlooked on Valentines Day. And taking the temperature of our nation into account currently, Valentines day is the least exclusionary holiday around, as love is undoubtedly needed by all. So give it readily and let’s finally turn the page on this ridiculous debate for good.
